"just a mom"

While being on vacation is so wonderful, Lincoln seems to push me further than usual, demand more, and to be blatantly honest, somewhat exhaust me.  Lincoln is beginning to realize he is an individual, also realizing he can manipulate situations in his favor.  Most moments I love seeing him assert his independence, but of course, there are always a few times I struggle to keep my cool.  

A few nights ago I had a mini freak-out at the dinner table with Lincoln, my parents watching.  It was over something so ridiculous, but that night it was the final straw. 

 Luckily, I'm blessed with parents who helped me laugh instead of judge my emotional breakdown, making me realize that every mom - no matter how "easy" the situation may seem from an outside perspective - has times of justifiable frustration.  That although it may seem like all I do is change diapers, puree baby food, nurse, wake up very early, clean, etcetera, etcetera, being a mother is an amazing and fulfilling calling.  The daily "to do" lists are not the moments I will remember.

It becomes so easy to concentrate on the mundane, but in doing so, the small meaningful moments are missed.  I used to become irritated when someone asked if I was "just a mom," since it's such an emotionally (and physically) tolling job, but it still felt wrong to compare my daily workload to theirs because the focus was on the unenjoyable and difficult tasks.

When someone asks me that question now, I feel extremely lucky that my job is one which is full of inspiration, kisses, games, laughs, and bubble baths.  I don't feel it necessary to justify my decision to a person who is attempting to compare their childless life with mine, because they just cannot understand.  Being a mother has it's difficult days, but the majority of time, I know I'm the one with the better job!  

Busted.

In the first two minutes Lincoln's feet touched the pavement at my parent's house, he took off down the street and did a face plant in the cement.  So just in case you're wondering - nope, Lincoln didn't just finish a raspberry jam sandwich, that's the actual destruction of my baby's perfect skin.  Also actual destruction: my self-esteem as a responsible and protective mother.

Still, somehow he didn't let his gravel-ey grin come between him and his midnight, 2 a.m., 4 a.m., and 7 a.m. snack.  And ya know, how could I be upset at that poor face?  I'll admit it, after the third waking I finally crawled into Lincoln's portable crib so I wouldn't have to get up again, and then we slept in until 9 a.m.  Maybe I should share beds (or cribs) with Lincoln more often and I'd get more sleep?

"I'm going to stop procrastinating. I'll start tomorrow."

My dad used to always laugh at how much I'd procrastinate when it came to things which seemed particularly unpleasant.  I'd rearrange my room, clean out my dresser...anything but actually complete the task I was supposed to be doing.

The thought of packing a diaper bag, a laptop, a camera with multiple lenses, a stroller, and [the most daunting thing] a 23 lb. energetic toddler - all as my "carry-on" - is really beginning to scare/worry/emotionally exhaust me.

Tomorrow, Lincoln and I catch a flight to California to visit my parents.  While I have no problem packing the million things going into our checked luggage, the carry-on situation is seriously tempting me to start rearranging some furniture.  Luckily, my two brothers are visiting and have provided the perfect distraction (and fun) for me to justifiably procrastinate packing.  Just a little longer.

Lincoln's favorite part of the day.

The week after Lincoln was born, Tyce called me on his way home from work.  He told me that he had just heard the perfect song about falling in love, and how much it reminded him of what he was emotionally going through with our brand-new Lincoln.  Everyone always tells you it will happen, but it never makes sense until it actually happens to you.  And Tyce was falling in love with our baby boy, a love stronger, deeper, and more meaningful than anticipated.

Reminiscing those first few months make me realize how lucky Lincoln is to have a father that is still as excited and as enthusiastic as he was the first day he was born.  From the first few moments of Lincoln's life, Tyson has been there to hold his hand, make him laugh, change his diapers, read him books, learn sign language to communicate, and become the highlight of Lincoln's day.

Being a parent for the first time is an amazing experience, and somehow, the world looks different.  Things sound different; new colors emerge and specific words now applied to our life that did not just days before.  The world shifts.  We were now parents.  New parents.  Life was so different, so much more meaningful, and nothing will ever top it.

Happy Father's Day Tyson!  We are extremely blessed to have someone that values fatherhood as you do!

And to my own dad, who taught me what to look for in a husband, who put his children before all else, and who devotes his life to the gospel.  He continually sets an example of patience, devotion, and love, and I feel so extremely blessed to have him as my father.  Happy Father's Day, Dad!

it's slurpee time

Right before we were "supposed" to be putting Lincoln to bed last night (like the responsible parents we aim to be), we instead took a walk down to 7Eleven for slurpees because I couldn't talk my body out of the craving for massive amounts of sugar loaded slushy deliciousness (and into being a responsible adult).

And guess where we're headed right now, too?  That's right.  For more.  'Tis the season (.

Pedaling around

We can't get enough family bike rides since the weather has warmed up!  Lincoln is in "observation mode" the entire time, so he's pretty serious about keeping us moving (except, of course, when he has to take a call from Tyce's cell phone that slipped under the trailer seat).

Ah summer, it finally feels like you're here (and thanks to my postnatal hair regrowth, I can finally pull my bangs up without looking like I'm trying to rock a Benjamin Franklin receding hairline)!  I have a feeling the next few months are going to closely resemble a dream.  A very, very good dream.

*music by I'm From Barcelona; "Headphones."

From winter worn, to summer sharp!

The past few months I've had a favorite pair of skinny jeans.  They fit perfectly: not too much stretch or too little flexibility, and went with everything because of their dark indigo color.  And, well, I wore them almost every day.

The jeans stayed in good shape until Lincoln and I began playing "lion," a game which incorporates hide-and-seek with tag (and tickle).  Since I am usually the lion, I chase Lincoln on all fours.  We take authenticity very seriously while impersonating an animal (we even take turns wearing this hat while playing).

Sadly, this game began to thin and fade the knees of my beloved jeans.  The knees became so faded I eventually stopped wearing them.  Surprisingly, I wasn't upset at my jean's destruction because it reminds me how much I play with Lincoln (which all parents need in their "not doing enough" self-deprecation).  Ah, the things moms find validating!

I couldn't throw them away because they'd fit so perfectly...maybe the "just-kneeled-in-white-paint" look would come around?  And, in moments of the "I'm-not-good-enough" parental self-deprecation, it was physical proof that I do try!  So they've sat in my closet for the last month, until I decided to turn my frown upside down and make them into shorts!  I cut them a little above my knee so I could adjust their length depending on my outfit, then cuffed them, and, bam.  New summer shorts, just as favored as they were in their previous life as pants.

Happy Weekend!

This weekend is extra-special for us because instead of his regular work schedule, Tyce isn't working tomorrow, and instead spending it with us!  We are taking the weekend to visit his family in Idaho for a family reunion (and hopefully some poolside action).

I hope everyone's weekend is sunny and filled with lots of baby giggles (okay, they don't have to be from a baby, but they are better that way)!

camera happy

A few weeks ago when my sister, Rachel, visited us for the weekend, we sort of got camera-happy one day and took a lot of pictures...so, for lack of a better post, here's the last (and best) of the pictures we took when Rach visited!

P.S.  Rachel!  Come back!

Midnight Ride

Last week, Tyce decided to get me a bike, with a trailer for Lincoln, so we could take summer bike rides together as a family.  Within three days, Tyce had scoured the internet for reviews and used bike and trailer prices.  He bought me a bike on Friday, and found the perfect trailer the next night.  We took a break from the assembling, adjusting, and tune ups once Saturday turned into Sunday...but once Sunday turned into Monday (literally, at 12:00 a.m. on Monday), we decided to try our new rides out. 

We grabbed Lincoln's video monitor and headed downstairs (locking our door behind us) to our empty parking lot where we rode around, "testing" my bike, for an hour.  Although Lincoln was only a few steps away, just the two of us, together outside alone, made it seem like we were on a little date.

And yes, I may have personally tried out Lincoln's trailer.  And yes, I may be jealous he gets his own chariot...those are fun!

City Cakes, City Cakes, baker's man - bake me a cake as fast as you can!

We found it.  The perfect bakery exists!  We've been eating our way through any bakery suggestions, randoms we drive past, or good reviews we've read (see here and here), but never liked one enough to prioritize revisiting.

But this bakery...not only can I have everything on the menu, it all tastes amazing!  And it's not just my forgotten-what-dairy-tastes-like taste buds, because Tyce (and Lincoln) liked the cupcakes, peanut butter bars, cinnamon rolls, and chocolate peanut butter mousse cake we've had in the last week (obviously I did make revisiting a priority).

The inside looked similar to an antique bookstore, the laid back atmosphere made it easy to take an active toddler along, and I'm sure Lincoln appreciated that Liberty Park was just a block away!  Since City Cakes & Cafe also offers "real" food (hence the "cafe"), the menu isn't limited to just dessert.  Date night (and lets be honest, any summer night), here we come!