Wednesday, December 14, 2011

on nursing and why I don't want to stop

The past few days I've been thinking a lot about breastfeeding and the sacrifices I have made to be able for it.  When I first found out I was pregnant, I thought that I only wanted to breastfeed for 6 months because I didn't want to be tied down and worried it might be limiting.  By the time I was in the delivery room eight months later, we had done enough research about the irreplaceable benefits of nursing that I was committed for a year...but it still sounded daunting.

After a little struggle with latching the first few days, a serious infection the next month, then dealing with Lincoln's acid reflux, breastfeeding seemed as difficult as I'd imagined.  But maybe that's why I stuck with it?  Somehow, I managed to wade through all of the problems and create this amazing bond with my baby (and eat almost whatever I wanted).  While I worried I'd feel trapped by breastfeeding, I instead felt comfort by the fact I was needed, loving being the one who could calm him.  All of the sacrifices (even you, dairy) are so worth it!

Nine months into our breastfeeding relationship, I have a hard time thinking it will be over in three months (maybe I'll choose to continue longer?).  It's become so apart of my routine, giving me little "timeouts" throughout the day to help me regain perspective and connect with my baby.  In the beginning I nursed because of the health benefits for Lincoln, but as we near the end, I can honestly say that there's just as many benefits for me.  Do I nurse for selfish reasons?  Maybe.  Okay, yes.  And I'm not sorry.

*picture from August, outside of a Starbucks in CA.

4 comments:

  1. I simply love this post, Jen! I love the picture, the fact that you are in public and don't care! Why do you think that Eli and I are still not done almost a year and a half later?! I sometimes think, maybe soon...then another week another month and here we still are. The time is right when you AND baby say it is. If you still love it and he still loves it, then continue for as long after a year as you want. It is a beautiful thing that God gives to us for our babies, I think more moms need to cherish it!

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  2. I guess the US are a bit more relaxed about breastfeeding in public? There was a massive uproar in the UK last year about that, people were disgusted with women who would do it so publicly but good on ya! :)
    When I decide to have a baby I will be doing the same!

    Take care :)

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  3. I totally thought I would be breastfeeding for the first year but little girl was done with it at 10 months. I just stopped last week and I kinda love it. the freedom is amazing but i'm glad I did it for so long.

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  4. Goood girl Jen! LOVE that you are uncovered! That's a nice perk of having smaller ones…lol.. Yep, it's a beautiful, wonderful thing, and there is nothing like it! I so look forward to our little breaks during the day to just unwind and cuddle and bond. And nothing can fix everything like a boob can! Every time he gets hurt, or gets really fussy in public, I think, "we are never weaning!" But…eventually we will…maybe when he is two! I originally wanted to go 6 months and then it turned into a year and now at almost 18 months I am thinking 2 years, or until I get pg with #2 and it dries up..hehe.

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